Once again, Free Will Astrology

CANCER (June 21 - July 22): 'All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware,' wrote philosopher Martin Buber. That's something you're on the verge of proving, Cancerian. Any day now I hope you will discover the hidden truth about a treasure you didn't know you were searching for; you will stumble upon the surprising answer to a riddle you hadn't even realized you desperately needed to solve.

And what about the riddle that I know I desperately do need to solve? The one that involves the boy? And my stomach and heart lurching when I walked by my bar last night and saw him sitting there? At least, I'm 99% sure it was him. I only saw him from behind.

I know he'll always have a place in my heart, I just wish that my heart would get a grip and let him go enough that I can really start to get on with things. So that I can see him and not long for him, long to be with him, long for a situation I know just isn't possible right now.

I keep listening to the Ben Folds Five song that I posted lyrics to a little while ago, 'Don't Change Your Plans'. It's more or less what I'd imagine him saying to me, not something I'd say to him right now...

Sometimes I get the feeling
That I won't be on this planet
For very long
I really like it here
I'm quite attached to it
I hope I'm wrong

All I really wanna say
Is you're the reason I wanna stay
I loved you before I met you
And I met you just in time
'Cause there was nothing left

I sat here on my suitcase
In our empty new apartment
Until the sun went down
Then I walked back down the stairs
With all my bags and drove away
You must be freaking out

All I know is I've gotta be
Where my heart says I oughta be
It often makes no sense, in fact,
I never understand these things I feel

Don't change your plans for me
I won't move to LA
The leaves are falling back east
That's where I'm gonna stay

You have made me smile again
In fact, I might be sore from it
It's been a while
I know we've been together many times before
I'll see you on the other side

Don't change your plans for me
I won't move to LA
The leaves are falling back east
That's where I'm going to stay

All I really wanna say
Is you're the reason I wanna stay
But destiny is calling and won't hold
And when my time is up I'm outta here

All I know is I gotta be
Where my heart says I oughta be
It often makes no sense, in fact
I never understand these things I feel

I love you, good bye
I love you, good bye...